22 Lessons I Learned from Heartbreak

1. I’ve learned that anyone you care about can make you shatter into pieces.
2. I’ve learned that heartbreak doesn’t always have a sad face.
3. I’ve learned that “it’ll pass” or “ man up” / “ woman up “ won’t help the healing process.
4. I’ve learned that society believes in rebounds and expects you to erase years of fond memories in a one night.
5. I’ve learned that some people, particularly the heartbreakers, can move on really fast.
6. I’ve learned that no matter how many articles you read about “what not to do when you’re heartbroken”, you’ll do it anyway.
7. I’ve learned that you can look right into the heartbreakers’ eye with a brave face and effortlessly act like everything is fine, fine, fine.
8. I’ve learned that nights have never been longer than when you have a broken heart.
9. I’ve learned that someone didn’t have to be in your life 24/7 for them to wound you like that.
10. I’ve learned that everything suddenly reminds you of them and it adds to pain.
11. I’ve learned that you’re so vulnerable you’re willing to forgive their flaws…after they’re gone.
12. I’ve learned that heartbreak messes with your head like nothing ever would.
13. I’ve learned that it is a dangerous state of mind to be on.
14. I’ve learned it is then when you need to be your strongest self.
15. I’ve learned that, if you thought you were “not the jealous type” in the past, now you’ll know you were wrong.
16. I’ve learned that it’s not as easy anymore to brush off rejection, that hell really hath no fury like a woman scorned.
17. I’ve learned that sometimes you just can’t f**king move on quick enough.
18. I’ve learned that you need moral support, but also a lot of time alone.
19. I’ve learned that creativity and inspiration ignite; and I’ve learned that it’s f**ked up that you’re hurting and inspired to write all at once, and you have the urge to tell the world a word of wisdom to live by.
20. I’ve learned that the healing process can take a while, but it will nevertheless happen in due time.
21. I’ve learned that heartbreak activates your fight-or-flight; that walls go up to protect your heart. But because you’re a survivor by nature, you find the way to make it out of the dark.
22. What I’m saying is that heartbreak is the worst of all pains; that you can’t put a bandaid on it, like a physical injury, and carry on; that it is inevitable for all mortals; that it is almost destructible, but always, always, always healable.

And what’s important is that it’ll pass. No, really, forget what I said — it will pass. (Perhaps the priest in Fleabag was right.)

Originally published at https://marciacapellan.com on January 25, 2022.